An interview with vampire Jacqui

 

Quest: How did you become a vampire? Jacqui: I just am one, it was not a choice I had. Quest: How long have you been a vampire ? Jacqui: I was always one, I only started calling it that 2 days ago. Quest: Tell me about your teeth, do they grow at night? Jacqui: No, I have perfect teeth. They are very healthy and have no fillings. You do not have to have teeth if you have no blood lust.

 

Quest: Do you hang out with the vampires at the 'Purple Turtle'? Jacqui: No, I am independent. It was never something I bought into. Quest: What makes you different from other people? Jacqui: I need a lot of energy. I do not feed on other people. I get my energy from nature. I need it so much so, that I do not think I will last very long in a dark cell. I also have strange psychic abilities. Quest: Like what? Jacqui: ESP, especially with phones, dreams and other stuff. It makes it difficult for people to relate to me. Quest: Do you have a coffin? Jacqui: No, the world is my coffin. I do not get energy from darkplaces. I have claustrophobia. I have difficulty handling sleeping bags.

 

Quest: Are you immortal? Jacqui: I am not sure yet. I will have to see. Quest: Do you believe in the concept of a Godhead? Jacqui: Yes, my God is everything. There is a darkside but this is a scapegoat for people to blame their behavior on. Quest: Do you wear the traditional black? Jacqui: Yes, I wear a lot of black, it is slimming. Quest: Are you happy? Jacqui: Yes, we all have our ups and downs. Quest: Are vampires strong? Jacqui: I am the strongest woman I have ever met.

Ps. I see some people have no sense of humour and can not see the irony in the above interview.