No discussion of marriage would be complete without addressing the subject of divorce, or in the Wiccan sense the Handfasting Rite & Parting of the Ways Ritual, both considered part of our life initiations.

Any relationship experiences its ebbs & flows, as Pagans we understand this fully for it mirrors the seasonal round, the fertile & the barren phases of both Earth & Moon.

This is not to say that all marriages will inevitably end in divorce, but only that the one constant in life is change. Sometimes changes necessitate endings in order to make room for new growth both physical & spiritual.

Those Wiccans who have been married by law or by another religious system need to see their marriage as an never ending spiral round of the ever changing seasons, seeing each event as a challenge to their spiritual nature, for both good & bane are essentially neutral, it is how we deal with them that counts.

Obviously if the failing marriage leads to violence or emotional breakdown then divorce is indicated. In the Pagan "Year & a Day " ceremony a graceful ending has been built in, for at the end of that period the couple can freely elect to do one of 4 things.

Commit to another Year & a Day, this is done by the couple in rite or in private.

End their relationship & go their separate ways after doing a Parting of the Ways rite, sometimes referred as a "Cutting of the ties ". This is usually done by the Priestess & Priest who Handfasted them. If both partners are not present for this rite then written consent from the other partner & the return of the ring or other handfasting jewelry for ritual cleansing is normally required.

Commitment to a civil marriage is another option.

Permanent or Eternal Bonding, this rite is not recommended.

Only a High Priestess & High Priest may officiate at this life initiation, & only after counseling both partners together & alone over the period of 3 Moons, by the Elders of the Craft or Coven should it be considered as an option.

When the couple have been Permanently bonded or joined the assumption is that from that moment onwards they choose to spend each lifetime together as life partners.

This can be heavy Karma if this decision is made in the heat & excitement of their first year & a day round or early courtship & they later discover that they have nothing in common when the Honeymoon is over, this realization can bring pain , suffering & disillusionment. to both partners & those closest to them in this & all future incarnations.

Sometimes we have only limited lessons to learn from our sexual partners & it should be seen as a natural process when we move on, though moving on to soon or running away from problems only encourages us to actively seek out other partners who will bring the same test back into our lives.

This is why a separation period of 3 to 9 Moons is recommended by Coven Elders before divorce or cutting of the ties is done. The Eternal Bonding is only recommended in Craft circles after the 20th

anniversary onwards, by those souls who as a team are doing highly spiritual work & wish to continue this work in the lives to come, though as I see it, the truly wise will allow for natural bonding of their souls in the next life rather than take an emotional chance with their future lifetimes.

AMALTHEA

BLESSED BE

CONCERNING ABORTION, STILLBIRTH & MISCARRIAGE

ABORTION:

We as Wiccans cannot be judgemental about abortion, our religion is one that teaches us to be tolerant with others & ourselves.

This is a personal decision & one that comes after no small amount of consideration & soul searching.

No matter at what stage you believe a soul is brought into the human body, when a child is conceived a soul waits specifically for that lovingly created shell by the two people who have attracted him or her.

So perhaps the best way to handle a problem pregnancy is to meditate before acting in haste. If you still feel abortion is the only way, do the following ritual.

This ritual is also recommended for those who have had a miscarriage.

Cleanse area, then take a ritual bath.

Set up altar with a white cloth, a white candle for the child, white flowers & rosemary for remembrance, incense, a red candle, water, salt, a fresh nut or seeds, cakes & ale.

Cast circle, call Elemental forces, Invocation to Goddess & God for protection, courage & release. Light incense & red candle, bless water & salt & sprinkle circle & self. Then sit & settle yourself into a contemplative state.

Breathing deeply, visualize yourself going off to some place that is warm & welcoming, a place where you always felt safe & happy or some imaginary place that has the same atmosphere.

Next verbally welcome the childs spirit. Do not have any expectations as to how it will appear or communicate with you, but simply let it know that it is well received in this sacred space.

Next share your feelings with the childs spirit, do not hold back, be totally honest, it is possible that it is an old friend & that you have both been together in many lifetimes.

If you have opted for abortion, share your reasons why & then send the spirit on its way, wishing it a better life with someone prepared & desiring a child.

If you have miscarried, share your grief, your loss & your personal hopes for the future.

Now light the childs candle & say the following:

Bright Spirit, you who are connected to me through the One who is Dual in nature,
I wish you light on your path & illumination through knowledge & wisdom.
May the Gods grant you this Bright One.
I thank you for choosing me / us as your mother / parents,
Go with my / our love & the knowledge that the Goddess & God are always with you & within you, may our paths cross at some future point in time.

Bless cakes & Ale & partake, then continue to speak aloud.

Fly Spirit fly, soar high above the clouds, deep into space, seek those who will guide you back to the Mother, the sacred womb of the Goddess where you began & where I must return some day.
I /we give thanks to the Elemental Realms for their work in preparing this little ones body.
May you be Blessed for this work, by the 3 fold law.

Now thank the Goddess & God in your own words.

Leave childs candle to burn out, take out offerings, at Sunrise plant the nut or seeds. Leave the area after blessing the Earth.

Remember tears are cleansing & aid release & inner healing.

A stillbirth is treated as a sudden death & full death rites may be given.

BLESSED BE